So it has come to my attention that maybe you readers don't know much about my family. Or maybe you do, because you a) are one of my friends and I talk about them a lot, b) are one of my family members, or c) don't give a rip about my kin. But I'm ignoring all of you a's, b's, and c's, because I had so much fun with this post I want to do more.
And what a better day to start than this one, August 28, 2008?
howdy, folks!
I first met Caroline on this date 15 years ago. I was 8-years-old with braces and stretch pants. She was naked and laying on one of those lighted beds in a dark room. She was 5 hours old.
i just scared myself!
Now she is all grown-up and mature, but she wasn't always that way. Allow me to share with you an embarrassing story from Caroline's younger years.
My younger sister Betsy was in kindergarten when Caroline was born. She simply thought Caroline was the bee's knees. Betsy insisted upon bringing her new baby sister to show and tell, insisted upon sharing a room with the infant instead of moving into the guest room (that didn't last terrible long) and generally playing Mommy. Betsy was a curious, inventive, motherly child. She liked to raise things.
Like Baby Caroline.
And caterpillars.
Betsy had a styrofoam cup she filled with leaves and a few caterpillars, and being luckier than most curious, motherly children, her caterpillars were well on their way to becoming butterflies. Two cocoons clung to the sides of the cup; they were kept on top of the fridge, but Betsy and I often retrieved them to gaze upon the wonders of metamorphosis... or something like that.
One afternoon, Caroline, who was a toddler now, started screaming.
And screaming.
And screaming.
AND SCREAMING!
With her tongue hanging out.
My mother attempted to comfort her, but she would have none of it. Soon after, we found the detritus of a styrofoam caterpillar habitat on the living room floor. Caroline was still screaming in the kitchen, tongue just a little swollen, and we put chrysalis and tongue together...
Our cute little sister had indeed, licked a cocoon.
Caroline is still prone to the defense mechanisms of insects. Mosquitos seek her out and swell her skin. Bees leave giant welts. According to the completely baffled pediatrician, cocoons must have some kind of "venom" to keep predators from gobbling them up. Since her tongue didn't appear to be swelling to fill her mouth or anything dangerous, we simply strapped Caroline into her high chair and tried to force-feed her popsicles.
Oh, Caroline.
hamster face!
Over the years, Caroline grew from a cocoon-licking toddler to a smiley but vengeful child. (She maintained the nickname "Carrie-shine," but was also unanimously voted Child Most Likely To Hurt You.") She had a way with grown-ups that left them doing her every will. She was particularly attached to my godmother's husband, Joe, who is holding her in every photo taken at their house, and our next door neighbor, the mother of my best friend, Mrs. Bull. Mrs. Bull took her into her house occasionally and I'm sure they did something like bake cookies or color pictures, but Caroline knew no gratitude or manners. My next younger sister was often found yelling "HEY BULL!" across the yard when she spotted Mrs. Bull from a distance, to the embarrassment of everyone around her.
Ohhhhhhh, Caroline.
girls just wanna have fun
Today is Caroline's birthday. She is 15, and about to begin her second year at my alma mater, Jackson High School. Like the rest of us Tackett girls, Caroline is a High Achiever. She earned straight A's in every quarter last year, and is ready to steady her record.
look, mom! i can swim!
She also sings soprano in the Euphony Choir!
Here I will list some of Caroline's many varied interests:
Watching Arrested Development with me. Collecting Secrets. Reading books with good covers. Dreaming of grilled cheese sandwiches. Pomegranate anything. Knitting. Coming with me to the gym. Text messaging. Manatees. Fail Blog. Taking self-portraits. Shopping.
i am a vampire, i am a vampire
Caroline also has many qualities. She is bright and witty. Mostly soft-spoken and appreciates the small pleasures in life. She loves animals, music of all sorts, and Myspace. She is gorgeous. She is fashionable.
It's a chronic problem of hers, but those who know her well know the truth of the matter and ignore her compulsive lying ways.
For example....
... but she is obviously the prettiest of all sisters, with dark, dark hair and an olive-tinted, Mediterranean-born complexion.
.... but she wears a size 3, if not smaller!
.... but she has passed nearly every audition she's attempted, earning a spot on the Troubadours AND Euphony Choir AND Honors Choir. And anyone who has heard her voice will think of angels and maybe Charlotte Church.
She claims to be uncoordinated and awkward....
.... but really she's just awkward.
.... but she is very close to her sisters, has a best friend down the street, various boys who text her day in/day out, over 300 MySpace friends, and all her elementary school friends have gone on to become Those Girls at high school who are pretty, athletic, and popular. And even though Caroline doesn't spend much time with them, they still love her.
.... but she was listed on the Test Your Luck list by some classy men of JHS! Scroll down a ways to see my sister, but this is what they had to say:
.... but everyone she meets is captivated by her.
She is wary but friendly. She is self-aware but kind. She is empassioned but knows when to keep her mouth shut. She is shy, but will be your best friend for life if you are worthy of her. She is overly modest, too self-critical, and unaware of her own power in this world. She loves thunderstorms, skinny jeans, and her iPod Touch. She is vegan. She has no wisdom teeth. I think she will someday become a graphic designer, a doctor, or a part-time model. She no longer licks caterpillars.She is mysterious. She is strangely flexible. She is your new bicycle. She is amazing.
In short, she is Caroline.
So everyone hop on over to her livejournal,![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
carolinecola, and wish her a happy, happy, happy birthday!
And what a better day to start than this one, August 28, 2008?
Meet Caroline Rose!
howdy, folks!
I first met Caroline on this date 15 years ago. I was 8-years-old with braces and stretch pants. She was naked and laying on one of those lighted beds in a dark room. She was 5 hours old.
i just scared myself!
Now she is all grown-up and mature, but she wasn't always that way. Allow me to share with you an embarrassing story from Caroline's younger years.
Exhibit A: Caroline eats nature
My younger sister Betsy was in kindergarten when Caroline was born. She simply thought Caroline was the bee's knees. Betsy insisted upon bringing her new baby sister to show and tell, insisted upon sharing a room with the infant instead of moving into the guest room (that didn't last terrible long) and generally playing Mommy. Betsy was a curious, inventive, motherly child. She liked to raise things.
Like Baby Caroline.
And caterpillars.
Betsy had a styrofoam cup she filled with leaves and a few caterpillars, and being luckier than most curious, motherly children, her caterpillars were well on their way to becoming butterflies. Two cocoons clung to the sides of the cup; they were kept on top of the fridge, but Betsy and I often retrieved them to gaze upon the wonders of metamorphosis... or something like that.
One afternoon, Caroline, who was a toddler now, started screaming.
And screaming.
And screaming.
AND SCREAMING!
With her tongue hanging out.
My mother attempted to comfort her, but she would have none of it. Soon after, we found the detritus of a styrofoam caterpillar habitat on the living room floor. Caroline was still screaming in the kitchen, tongue just a little swollen, and we put chrysalis and tongue together...
Our cute little sister had indeed, licked a cocoon.
Caroline is still prone to the defense mechanisms of insects. Mosquitos seek her out and swell her skin. Bees leave giant welts. According to the completely baffled pediatrician, cocoons must have some kind of "venom" to keep predators from gobbling them up. Since her tongue didn't appear to be swelling to fill her mouth or anything dangerous, we simply strapped Caroline into her high chair and tried to force-feed her popsicles.
Oh, Caroline.
hamster face!
Over the years, Caroline grew from a cocoon-licking toddler to a smiley but vengeful child. (She maintained the nickname "Carrie-shine," but was also unanimously voted Child Most Likely To Hurt You.") She had a way with grown-ups that left them doing her every will. She was particularly attached to my godmother's husband, Joe, who is holding her in every photo taken at their house, and our next door neighbor, the mother of my best friend, Mrs. Bull. Mrs. Bull took her into her house occasionally and I'm sure they did something like bake cookies or color pictures, but Caroline knew no gratitude or manners. My next younger sister was often found yelling "HEY BULL!" across the yard when she spotted Mrs. Bull from a distance, to the embarrassment of everyone around her.
Ohhhhhhh, Caroline.
girls just wanna have fun
Today is Caroline's birthday. She is 15, and about to begin her second year at my alma mater, Jackson High School. Like the rest of us Tackett girls, Caroline is a High Achiever. She earned straight A's in every quarter last year, and is ready to steady her record.
look, mom! i can swim!
She also sings soprano in the Euphony Choir!
Here I will list some of Caroline's many varied interests:
Watching Arrested Development with me. Collecting Secrets. Reading books with good covers. Dreaming of grilled cheese sandwiches. Pomegranate anything. Knitting. Coming with me to the gym. Text messaging. Manatees. Fail Blog. Taking self-portraits. Shopping.
i am a vampire, i am a vampire
Caroline also has many qualities. She is bright and witty. Mostly soft-spoken and appreciates the small pleasures in life. She loves animals, music of all sorts, and Myspace. She is gorgeous. She is fashionable.
But she is also a liar.
It's a chronic problem of hers, but those who know her well know the truth of the matter and ignore her compulsive lying ways.
For example....
- She thinks she is ugly and has bad skin....
... but she is obviously the prettiest of all sisters, with dark, dark hair and an olive-tinted, Mediterranean-born complexion.
- She thinks she is fat....
.... but she wears a size 3, if not smaller!
- She says she is a bad singer....
.... but she has passed nearly every audition she's attempted, earning a spot on the Troubadours AND Euphony Choir AND Honors Choir. And anyone who has heard her voice will think of angels and maybe Charlotte Church.
She claims to be uncoordinated and awkward....
.... but really she's just awkward.
- She says she has no friends....
.... but she is very close to her sisters, has a best friend down the street, various boys who text her day in/day out, over 300 MySpace friends, and all her elementary school friends have gone on to become Those Girls at high school who are pretty, athletic, and popular. And even though Caroline doesn't spend much time with them, they still love her.
- She says boys are repelled by her....
.... but she was listed on the Test Your Luck list by some classy men of JHS! Scroll down a ways to see my sister, but this is what they had to say:
Caroline
- Every co-worker here at Bitch Inc. has tried to get with her, but everyone has failed actually......
So if you think you can get a Business Meeting with her, definitely get into contact with us, and we will definitely give a shout out to you on the blog, or some money, or at least some K.F.C. [You Deserve It]
- She says that no one cares about her, that she is worthless, that she could fall off the face of the planet and no one would notice...
.... but everyone she meets is captivated by her.
She is wary but friendly. She is self-aware but kind. She is empassioned but knows when to keep her mouth shut. She is shy, but will be your best friend for life if you are worthy of her. She is overly modest, too self-critical, and unaware of her own power in this world. She loves thunderstorms, skinny jeans, and her iPod Touch. She is vegan. She has no wisdom teeth. I think she will someday become a graphic designer, a doctor, or a part-time model. She no longer licks caterpillars.She is mysterious. She is strangely flexible. She is your new bicycle. She is amazing.
In short, she is Caroline.
And we all love her,
just the way she is.
just the way she is.
So everyone hop on over to her livejournal,
carolinecola, and wish her a happy, happy, happy birthday!I love you, Caroline! May this year be your best one yet!
- Mood:
good
Comments
but.
There's a picture of Caroline holding the late great JSJ. I miss him. =(
well
i don't miss his late night squeaky-squeaky-squeakies but he had more personality than any rodent i have ever met.
we speak of him often in this household, and his food remains on the floor behind our bookshelf, in memory of the time he got lost and we had to put food all over the floor to lure him into our line of vision